Ok – these are old, really old but the longer I stay in this country the longer grows the list I am guilty of. This one is from here and uncannily true:
You think there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.
You can tell the difference between a Grøn Tuborg and a Carlsberg. -Ceres for me, please.
The first thing you do on entering a bank/post office/pharmacy etc. is to look for the queue number machine.
You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number.
When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
a. he is drunk;
b. he is insane;
c. he is British;
d. he is all of the above.
The word “yes” is an intake of breath.
Can’t remember when to say “please” and “excuse me”.
You don’t mind paying the same for a 200-metre bus ride as you do for going 10 kms.
You start to believe that if it weren’t for Denmark’s efforts, the world would probably collapse pretty soon. - When starting at my new job I was seriously asked by a collegue whether my chances in life are better now that I moved to DK… I’m Swiss for crying out loud!
You find the idea walking across the street when the light is red unforgivable, even though there are no cars in sight and it’s 3am in the morning!
You understand that Danes aren’t rude and abrupt like they may appear, just a little more reserved than most but once you gain their trust they will be your friend for life. -Now that’s a blatant lie… but I’m sure the danes are trying hard to believe it.
You accept the stereotype that Swedes are always drunk, Germans are always nude when they have sand under their feet and English speaking people tend to smile to hide confusion. … and Danes are either reserved or drunk.
You start setting up Dannebrog everywhere. -Embarassing but true.
You think anyone who is not convinced any single thing in Denmark is great (but maybe the weather, ok), and the Danes the most civilized people on earth should just go home.
You dance around the christmas tree singing carols. -Guilty as charged… even though our tree was a pot plant.
You can say rød grød med fløde, Blåbærsyltetøj, and Angstskrig. -Sure… who doesn’t?
You are not surprised to have the closing door slam you in the face if following too closely behind somebody. Why should you hold the door for someone else?!?
You think its okay to walk away from a conversation without excusing yourself.
You have given up all hope of finding any logic in the pronunciation of the Danish language.
You think it is interesting to discuss the pronunciation of the words håndklæde (towel), hindbær (raspberries), sort (black) and hjort (deer).
You hate everyone from the other side of Bæltet.
You consider the Island of Funen (Fyn) to be a speedbump.
You can bakke snagvendt (altså snakke bagvendt). -Følgselvelig!
You complain about only having 5 weeks of vacation a year. - Not so much. But I’ll never get why you have to “earn” your holiday wages during the calendar year prior to the year when you’re actually holding those holidays (and that the holiday year is from May 1st to April 30st)!
You for that matter, think it normal for ‘Venstre’ (meaning “left”) to be a right-wing party.
When making a right-hand turn while driving, you habitually check over your shoulder for bicyclists. - They’re driving me nuts.
You find yourself reading the subtitles even when watching something in english.
You have given up trying to find a radio station with good music.
You buy a hot dog with a credit card. - What’s cash anyway?
You trash any leftovers. - No way! I was way to shocked to see people trash half a kilo perfectly fine cooked pasta.
Und jetz no di Gägunuberschtellig: Dü weisch, dass Schwizer/i bisch, we… finnsch uf Blog “Ottimo – stato ideale”, hie: klick!